Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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