Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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