I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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