yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
