Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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