We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The beer is more important than you right now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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