Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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