I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
and i looked up. we had an audience...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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