She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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