I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
