Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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