I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My ass is underappreciated
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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