it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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