he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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