ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
