Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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