me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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