being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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