What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I will pee on everything he values.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
