Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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