i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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