And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
