Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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