Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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