My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
