Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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