She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
