The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
