I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I touched a dick in church today
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
