I CAN MOONWALK!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
