Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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