Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize