help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
