Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
