she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux