you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
