I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
