I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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