you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
