She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
