In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
