I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
