End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sarcasm needs its own font
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
