also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
