anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.