I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
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Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.