cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?