4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
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But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is