Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.