She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
