There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
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just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome