we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.