Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.

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  (262): I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter. http://tfl.nu/r6gs
  Replies (24) Good night (4137) Bad night (691)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is sufficient.

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  (412): Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living (1-412): bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug (412): This is sufficient. http://tfl.nu/p15m
  Replies (72) Good night (12398) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave

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  (781): I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave http://tfl.nu/vjg2
  Replies (33) Good night (10138) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.

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  (412): I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8. http://tfl.nu/h2aq
  Replies (17) Good night (8314) Bad night (928)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.

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  (615): Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again. http://tfl.nu/rwfi
  Replies (17) Good night (4268) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.

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  (217): I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel. http://tfl.nu/8hwr
  Replies (5) Good night (2231) Bad night (821)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar

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  (978): Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar http://tfl.nu/tjlh
  Replies (6) Good night (2221) Bad night (658)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills

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  (704): I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills http://tfl.nu/vb73
  Replies (10) Good night (1894) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out

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  (210): My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out http://tfl.nu/di5z
  Replies (47) Good night (1406) Bad night (6606)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.

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  (214): It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad. http://tfl.nu/hqh8
  Replies (8) Good night (1340) Bad night (1185)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.

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  (819): The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons. http://tfl.nu/84qu
  Replies (6) Good night (1877) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT

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  (828): HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS. (336): TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT http://tfl.nu/5rl9
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.

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  (503): Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in. http://tfl.nu/pa8o
  Replies (7) Good night (1788) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel

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  (209): Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel http://tfl.nu/1v3g
  Replies (15) Good night (1261) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.

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  (813): I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa. http://tfl.nu/wwaj
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (349)

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