I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
