Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
