Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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