We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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