Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
