trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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