it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize