I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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