i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize