the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
