Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
