Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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