I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
