I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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