No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize