so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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