if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
